years ago, i wanted to graduate because i want to feel and be a part of the real world of nurses. i want to see how the nurse works, how it feels to serve patients. but now, i am already here at this kind of setting, i am beginning to ask myself, until when will i do this kind of service? up to when will i be a nurse?

things changed when i got home feeling so tired because of an almost 15 hours of duty. i dont know.. i wanted to keep my eyes closed until by body wakes up the time it wanted to see the real world again. but i cant. i have to wake up early again the next day.. or maybe, its just that im not really a morning person. i hate waking up early morning.. i would just stay up late at night until the wee hours of the morning instead of getting up at 4am!! argh!! hehe..

being a nurse is a fulfilling job especially when you are receiving appraisals from your clients.. like, "ikaw nalang mag inject sa akin sa sunod kong balik para hindi masakit", or, "ang bait-bait mo naman, inaasikaso mo kami", things like that. because these words keep our spirits high, and i admit, its from my patients where i get some strength upon continuing my service to them.. kasi magiging sagot ko, "ang sarap naman nila asikasuhin kasi naaapreciate nila ako." ..

in terms of compensations, nasa pilipinas tayo, [so secret muna salary] hahaha!! but i am telling you guys, ung sweldo ko ngayon, sakto lang sa single. kung may asawa ka na, d mabubuhay pamilya nio. hahaha.. ganun!! saka, ewan ko. . nakakapagod lang talaga kapag sunod-sunod na ung pasok mo ng 12 hours, hindi tayo makina para patayin ang sarili.. hindi tayo pwedeng ireset kapag nag hang, pag nagkakasakit dapat ipahinga, d tulad ng computers na may shut down function... gets nio?!!!

there's an old story that says, u cant kill a frog by dropin it into boiling water. coz  he reacts so quickly to d sudden heat that it'll jump out before its too hurt.. but if u put it into cold water and gradually warm d water, d frog never decides to jump till its too late.. Men are the same wen u suddenly show u like them, dey get 2 dump u abruptly.. but if u treat them cold at first and make things hard for them, they'll be attached and never knew dey'r already into you.. in short, MEN are frogs.... (hehehe)

If you cant accept me at my worst...then u dont deserve me at my best....

its not that things are difficult and so we dont dare... its because we dont dare and that is why things are difficult...

in this cruel world of relationships, ive learned that promises arent contracts...
kisses arent assurances..
sweet words arent guarantees....
big hugs arent bonds....
and nothing is permanent......
one day he's mine..the next day he's gone....
last night he was sweet.. the next morning he's insensitve...
yesterday i cried, tonight ill fell despair..
but tomorrow ill be strong.. life is tough but ive proven im tougher..
if he cant wipe ur tears away and make u happy, then he's not worth the tears...
if he cant prove his love for u then he's not worth ur love...
relationships are not always happy no sad, so be tough and strong enough...
dont lose hope coz if u fyt together, no obstacles can hinder u for the word.... Forever....

the minute u think of giving up.... think of the reason why u held on so long....

EVER WONDER::
Why d sun lightens our hair but darkens our skin?
why is it to stop windows, u have to click "start"?
why is abbreviated such a long word?
why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?
why is it d man who invests all your money called a "broker"?
why is the tym of the day when traffic is slowest called "rush Hour"?
If flyin is so safe, why do they call the airport "terminal?"....thoughts for the day!!!!

LOve is not all about waiting for the right time ... its also about grabbing opportunities and taking a risk on the choices made.....

its hard to wait around for something u know might not happen... but its harder to give up when u know its all u ever wanted....

CRAB MENTALITY
maraming pinoy ang nag iisip na NEGATIVE ang crab mentality. kasi, crabs tend to pull one crab down when it is about to get out from the basket. but cant we also see na, crabs also help each other.. kasi pinagpapatung patong nila ung sarili nila para makaakyat ung isa.. kaso in the end, may isa talagang maiiwan sa baba.. na nakakalimutan nang tulungan nung mga nauna.. ganun daw ang pinoy.. naghihilahan pababa, ayaw umangat ang isa, at kung matulungan man sila ng kapwa, hindi na sila marunong mag look back sa pinanggalingan... are you??

HUGAS KAMAY
people na huli na, natanggi pa.. hanggat makakalusot, lulusot.. dont they realize na the more they hide, the more they tend to bury themselves in a mess.. nagmamalinis, na kunwari wlang alam, kunwari hindi sangkot, nagmamaang maangan para lang kunwari, 'malinis ang pangalan' .. pero bali baliktarin mo ang storya, sinong nagmumukhang tanga? ung naghugas ng kamay dba? ikaw, hugas kamay ka ba? or inaamin mo na mali ka?

TAO LANG.. IM ONLY HUMAN, NAGKAKAMALI RIN.
most often, these excuses are heard. bakit? kasi wla ng maidahilan?. bakit mo nagawa yon?  "tao lang ako, nagkakamali rin" .. kung ganyan lahat ng dahilan ng tao, palagay mo may silbi pa ang kulungan? kung ganyan magrason ang mga tao, matuwa ka kaya? "o iha, bakit ka nabuntis?" .. "ah eh..tao lang po, nadadala rin.." tanong ko sayo, sa edad mo ngayon, lahat ba ng kaedad mo buntis? bakit ung iba kaya magpigil?? ang sagot:: "dahil tao lang din sila" ... tayo ang gumagawa ng bawat bagay na kinahihinatnan ng ating mga kilos..  one more.. "o pare, bakit mo napatay si misis?" "pare, nagdilim ang paningin ko nung makita kong kasama nia ang kalaguyo niya.. nasaksak ko sila.. tao lang ako nasasaktan din.." pwes, bakit mo nilagay sa kamay mo ang batas...dahil ba tao ka lang din??  do u think u still wanna say... "tao lang ako??" o dahil gsto mong panigan ka ng taong kausap mo kaya mo dinbadahilan na tao ka lang din? ang hayop ba nagsasabing... "hayop lang ako?" [hehehe...]

LIFE IS UNFAIR.
yes..life is unfair. hindi lahat nasa iyo. wlang perpekto sa mundo. nakapagpasalamat ka ba dahil 2 ang kamay mo? nakapagpasalamat ka ba dahil pantay ang mga paa mo? o dahil nakakakita ka, nakakarinig, nakakapagsalita, nakakaramdam.. nagawa mo bang magpasalamat sa KANYA?  halimbawa nalang ang mga pamilyang may marangyang buhay pero halos hindi nagkikita sa bahay.. parehong busy ang parents dahil nagtatrabaho para sa ikabubuti ng mga anak... oo, napupunan ang mga materyal na bagay... pero magtanong ka ng mga batang lumaki na wala ang isang magulang dahil nasa ibang abroad..kadalasan, uhaw sila, sabik sa pagmamahal.. iba ang yakap ng magulang kaysa sa mga perang padala.. iba ang mga salita nila kaysa sa mga sulat... iba ang presensya ng magulang kapag graduation, birthday, o pasko... IBANG IBA... hindi nabibili.. hindi napapalitan...  nakakita ka ba ng kotseng maganda, pero ang nagmamaneho ay hindi kagandahan?? tapos sinabi mo na.. "ay sayang ang ganda nung kotse kaso ung drver... " AYAN!! YAN ang pinoy.. hinahanapan RAW ng butas ang isang bagay.. na hindi pwdeng LAHAT nasa iyo.... SUCCESSFUL ka nga abroad, maraming naipundar na pera, bahay, sasakyan.. pero wla kang paglalaanang anak.. I PERSONALLY know someone like that... mrami nga siyang ari-arian dahil sa kagustuhang maiangat ang buhay ng pamilya.. pero wla siyang sariling pamilya.. wla siyang kasama pagtanda... hindi ba masarap na habang naghihirap ka.. may inspirasyon ka dahil pag uwi mo, may anak na yayakap sa yo, may misis na mag aasikaso sa yo, mag aalaga.. kaysa na-achieve mo nga ang karangyaan, pero pag uwi mo ng bahay.. madilim... walang lutong pagkain.. tahimik ang paligid... totoo nga, life is UNFAIR... pero kung iisipin mo... UNFAIR na nga ang buhay, pero magagawa natng maging masaya.... BAKIT?? we should learn to accept things the way we see it... dont look beyond things because we only look for PERFECTION... dba sabi.. perfection is achieved not when there's nothing more to add.. but when there's nothing more to take away.....

TIME IS THE GREATEST GIFT OF ALL. TIME IS THE SUREST TESTER.
kelan mo naramdamang sobrang appreciated ka?? nung tinulungan mo ang isang tao tapos super thank you sia sa yo?? o ung simpleng... "salamat kasi anjan ka.. hindi ko alam ang gagawin ko kung wla ka.." panahon... panahon nga ang makakapagsabi kung saan ka mapapadpad balang araw.. kung sino ang makakasama mo hanggang sa huli.. kung ilan ang magiging anak mo.. at apo.. o apo sa tuhod.. panahon ang sagot sa lahat... matuto tayong mag antay...

time counts.. kahit pa sabihing 1 minute lang kayo nagkausap..it counts! it matters... kase someone remembered u for a minute.. someone made an effort na marinig ka, kamustahin ka..dba nakakatuwa? dba, no matter how busy ants are, they stop for a while and 'sniff' their kasalubong ... naglalaan sila ng 1 second para sa kasalubong to make sure na tama ung path na dinadaanan nila.. tayo pa na tao lang?? =) kelan mo tinawagan ang isang kaibigang..'long time no hear!!', marami ba kayong napag usapan? hindi ba ang sarap sa pakiramdam na sinabi nila na, "buti naalala mo pa ako.." ..dahil panahon man ang lumipas, kung totoo ka sa knya at sa kung anong meron kayo.. hindi yon mababago ng panahon... mapaglumaan man ika nga ng panahon..anjan pa din.... hindi natitinag..

kaya kung may tanong ka ngaun, try to ask GOD.. God's delays are not GOD denials... Give him time to answer your questions..ako personally... when i ask for Something.... in a minute nasagot sia... PROMISE!!! have faith!!! isa pa, ramdam mo naman kung sinagot na ng langit ang dasal mo, hindi ba?

PAST IS PAST.
past means something that happened... time gone by.. pag nangyari na, do u tend to bring it back again... sumbat in short? "e bakit noong ganito ganyan!!" ... pero sasabihin mong nakamove on ka na... palagay mo nakamove on ka na? ..are you the type of person na sinesettle muna ang isang bagay before you proceed sa iba.. or u start another thing without finishing the other formally? think it over.. baka paulit ulit lang ang nangyayari sa buhay mo... baka you're bringing the past again..

DONT JUDGE A BOOK BY ITS COVER.
nangyayari pa ba to? sa mall, kapag maganda ang girl,mukhang mayaman ung lalaki,  kadalasan, binabati ng mga sales lady at sales man ng, "gud morning mam.." pero kapag chaka, deadma! tama ba yon? minsan, gentleman effect sa restaurant ang mga ushers na may urong silya effect pa... kung maganda!!pero pag hindi.... minsan deadma effect pa.. napapansin ko yan!! sabay sasabihin ko sa sarili ko.. "pinoy talaga... " ikaw, tumitingin ka ba sa panlabas na anyo?? ako aaminin ko, minsan talaga hindi maiiwasan.. lalo na sa jeep or PUB's.. kapag mukhang sanggano,, ung may tato.. tas may balbas, mejo ilag ako jang katabi..baka kako holdaper..or wat... e kasi naman! san ko ba malalaman kung mabait ang tao?? ewan dn!!ung iba mukhang maamo pero mandurukot pala.. ganun!! pero what i mean with this is, kung sa frend mo ba, kapag mukhang may maitutulong doon ka? ako ilang beses na ako nasabihang , "mukha ka kasing mataray" , pero all of them wud say in the end na, hindi raw pala.. kasi tinignan lang nila ung panlabas.. or sa HEARSAY!!! nako maraming ganyan... "naku sabi ni ganito madamot daw si ____ "" ayan!!! huli!!! pero sia mismo hindi naranasan... or, naranasan mo na bang maendorse?? "uy hannie balita ko kay ____ tinarayan mo daw siya.."  ..ung ganyan!!! ikwento ba? ..e tama naman iba?? iba iba kasi versions ng kwento.. may exageratd magkwnto na parang ang sama sama nia.. pero pag kinausap mo, hindi naman.. dba! sayo, anung importante? kalooban or physical??

KUNG KAYO, KAYO!
that's what we often hear .. hindi ba?? a quote says it better... "destiny is useless without effort.." so kung kayo nga ang inilaan ng tadhana pero you're not making an effort in a relationship kasi katwiran mo, 'nako darating naman sia' , e it will never work.. its like saying na, 'kung yayaman ako yayaman ako" , pero hindi ka naman nagtatrabaho.. pano ka yayaman? its also like saying na, "kung magkakaanak ako magkakaanak ako." pero hindi ka nag aasawa .. hehehe... panu mangyayayri yon?? o hindi ba? so kung gusto mo na kayo na ang magkatuluyan, you have to work for it.. ramdam mo naman kung para sa iyo ang taong yon dba... simula pa lang, alam mo na...

silence doesnt always mean yes, it may also mean no but its better unsaid.

anger doesnt always mean hatred, it could be a means of coping with.

laughter doesnt always mean happiness, sometimes it is just a mask.

teasrs doesnt always mean sorrow, it may also be an outlet of joy.

staying away doesnt always mean its the end, it may also mean the best beginning.

and life, though its so complex, is always beautiful..

life never gets tough if you can handle it better.
cries wont be tears if your not hurt.
sadness wont mean anything unless your'e down..
anger will be nothing if apology comes right after.
smiles mean nothing if it comes from the unknown.
a touch never says it cares unless you think so.
there are lots of things in life that have a different meaning of its own, so if you feel like having a duel with life.. fight not because your'e brave.. but because your'e a coward who wanted to improve something..

someone gave the real meaning of relationship: it isnt based on how many secrets you share.. isnt how well you get along nor how much you like each other.. isnt how people see you together.. but it appreciates the differences.. the gaps.. the hindrances... the trials.. and still a lover looks at you straight from the heart without hatred.. without judgement ... without envy.. without criticism... only PURE acceptance...

Full picture:; people full around for many reasons. most of them selfishly motvated.. there's no perfect relationship, there's no perfect partner.. at one point we will hurt the people we love, intentionally or unintentionally ... sometimes when we hurt them so bad, they will give up on us even if it hurts.. sometimes, when we hurt them so bad, they will fall out of love and hate us.. but forgiveness is the most important cure to scarred relationship.. it is thru forgiveness that we can find our way back home... --joe the mango

in my existence, i just relaized that happiness is a very subjective factorin one's life.. being happy doesnt depend on achieving what you want, but rather making the best out of what is given.. life isnt fair, it never was.. the only thing that can make you completely happy is contentment.. be contented on what you have but be sure to aim high...

hayee! have u heard of the story about a lizard stucked between the walls in one of the ancestral houses in japan? and the house was built a decade before! so imagine, the lizard survived for a decade! and how was it? another lizard do feeds the lizard stucked every now and then.. see how these little creatures help his/her beloved lizard.. ahuh!! nice noh....  - - i read this story i guess 3 years ago, in littleangels.com, or perhaps from another website which is now closed. hehe... at first i couldn't believe this because how could a researcher would watch a lizard's life [than any other stories around] and observe them for a couple of days.. until i myself discovered almost the same story!! here it goes..

the switch in our house seems defective because even the light is turned on, suddenly it would switch off. we thought its just the bulb which is already busted so we replaced it with a new one. the same problem occured. then we consulted a line man, and he decided to open the switch. we were surprised what we found inside, it was a lizard! we entered into the idea that the lizard grew inside.. and what puzzled us was what made him survive inside.. the lizard wasnt thin! really! it seems like he's eating everyday, on time. haha.. pretty funny! the line man was also surprised. the line man concluded that the lizard was the reason why our lights are turning on and off without touching the switch. he then bring back the cover of the switch in place and left. after few days, i saw a lizard crawling towards our switch having a food in his mouth, a mosquito. i remembered the lizard we caught few days back, thinking that this visitor lizard is the one feeding the trapped lizard.... see how this lil thingy animals care and love each other.. despite the situation they are having, the one didnt grew tired feeding his/her partner.. making him/her realize that the lizard trapped inside would only depend on the food supply of any lizard outside.. so he/she volunteered her/himself...

touching bah! i never thought i myslef could witness a story like this which i only read few years ago.. the story of lizard trapped in the walls of a house in japan, is the same as the story of the lizard trapped inside a switch inside our house! =)

some years ago, a newspaper offered a prize for the best definition of money.. out of the hundreds who competed, the winner submitted this food for thought:: Money is the universal provider for everything except happiness.. and a passport to everythinf except to heaven....

Sometimes GOD pushes us to our limits, gives usstruggles we never imagined and tests us beyond our endurance because HE has greater faith is us than we have in ourselves..

its next to impossible to find somebody who will never make you cry.. So get the next best thing.. Find someone who's worht all the pain..

Psychological FAct:: a;; emotional pain lasts for 12 minutes.. any pain longer than that is self inflicted..

When GOD knows youre ready for the responsibility of committment, He'ss reveal the right person under the right circumstances..

God gives us two gifts - one is CHOICE, the other - CHANCE. the choice of a good life and the chance to make it the best!

PERFECTION is achieved not when there is nothing more to add. but when there is nothing left to take away...

The most interesting thing about heart transplant is that one completely loses his own heart and be replaced with someone else's yet still has the feelings for hte same person he loves. this proves that love works in the minds of the people and not their hearts. bottomline is, love is a state of mind. you'll learn how to forget only if you try doing so. - - Dr. Burke, Grey's Anatomy

six pieces of advice from Iman Ghazali :

>> closest to us is not fmily, but death.

>> furtherest from us is not the moon or stars, but time passed.

>> biggest is not the mountain or sun, but our lust/desire.

>> heaviest weight is not the elephant or iron but responsibility.

>> lightest is neither wind nor feathers, but praying or delaying it..

>> sharpest is neither knife nor sword, but our tongue.

>> think about these words of wisdom.

sometimes God pushes us to our limits, gives us struggles we never imagined tests us beyond our endurance because he has greater faith in us than we have in ourselves..

if i could sum up all the causes of hurt, pain and hatred in one word, its just.. Expectation..

some years ago, a newspaper offered a prize for the best definition of money.. out of the hundreds who competed, the winner submitted this food for thought:: Money is the universal provider for everything except happiness.. and a passport to everythinf except to heaven....

Sometimes GOD pushes us to our limits, gives usstruggles we never imagined and tests us beyond our endurance because HE has greater faith is us than we have in ourselves..

its next to impossible to find somebody who will never make you cry.. So get the next best thing.. Find someone who's worht all the pain..

Psychological FAct:: a;; emotional pain lasts for 12 minutes.. any pain longer than that is self inflicted..

When GOD knows youre ready for the responsibility of committment, He'ss reveal the right person under the right circumstances..

God gives us two gifts - one is CHOICE, the other - CHANCE. the choice of a good life and the chance to make it the best!

PERFECTION is achieved not when there is nothing more to add. but when there is nothing left to take away...

The most interesting thing about heart transplant is that one completely loses his own heart and be replaced with someone else's yet still has the feelings for hte same person he loves. this proves that love works in the minds of the people and not their hearts. bottomline is, love is a state of mind. you'll learn how to forget only if you try doing so. - - Dr. Burke, Grey's Anatomy

ALL FILIPINO PLEASE READ. IT WONT WASTE YOUR TIME...

As you know, we have plenty of Koreans currently studying in the Philippines to take advantage of our cheaper tuition fees and learn English at the same time.

This is an essay written by a Korean student i want to share with you. (Never mind the grammar; it's the CONTENT that counts) Maybe it is timely to think about this in the midst of all the confusion at present.

The message goes:

MY SHORT ESSAY ABOUT THE PHILIPPINES
Jaeyoun Kim

Filipinos always complain about the corruption in the Philippines. Do you really think the corruption is the problem of the Philippines? I do not think so. I strongly believe that the problem is the lack of love for the Philippines.

Let me first talk about my country, Korea . It might help you understand my point. After the Korean War, South Korea was one of the poorest countries in the world. Koreans had to start from scratch because entire country was destroyed after the Korean War, and we had no natural resources.

Koreans used to talk about the Philippines, for Filipinos were very rich in Asia. We envy Filipinos. Koreans really wanted to be well off like Filipinos. Many Koreans died of famine. My father & brother also died because of famine. Korean government was very corrupt and is still very corrupt beyond your imagination, but Korea was able to develop dramatically because Koreans really did their best for the common good with their heart burning with patriotism.

Koreans did not work just for themselves but also for their neighborhood and country.

Education inspired young men with the spirit of patriotism. 40 years ago, President Park took over the government to reform Korea . He tried to borrow money from other countries, but it was not possible to get a loan and attract a foreign investment because the economic situation of South Korea was so bad. Korea had only three factories. So, President Park sent many mine workers and nurses to Germany so that they could send money to Korea to build a factory. They had to go through horrible experience.

In 1964, President Park visited Germany to borrow money. Hundred of Koreans in Germany came to the airport to welcome him and cried there as they saw the President Park . They asked to him, "President, when can we be well off?" That was the only question everyone asked to him. President Park cried with them and promised them that Korea would be well off if everyone works hard for Korea , and the President of Germany got the strong impression on them and lent money to Korea . So, President Park was able to build many factories in Korea . He always asked Koreans to love their country from their heart.

Many Korean scientists and engineers in the USA came back to Korea to help developing country because they wanted their country to be well off. Though they received very small salary, they did their best for Korea . They always hoped that their children would live in well off country.

My parents always brought me to the places where poor and physically handicapped people live. They wanted me to understand their life and help them. I also worked for Catholic Church when I was in the army. The only thing I learned from Catholic Church was that we have to love our neighborhood. And, I have loved my neighborhood. Have you cried for the Philippines? I have cried for my country several times. I also cried for the Philippines because of so many poor people. I have been to the New Bilibid prison. What made me sad in the prison were the prisoners who do not have any love for their country. They go to mass and work for Church. They pray everyday.

However, they do not love the Philippines. I talked to two prisoners at the maximum-security compound, and both of them said that they would leave the Philippines right after they are released from the prison. They said that they would start a new life in other countries and never come back to the Philippines.

Many Koreans have a great love for Korea so that we were able to share our wealth with our neighborhood. The owners of factory and company were distributed their profit to their employees fairly so that employees could buy what they needed and saved money for the future and their children.

When I was in Korea , I had a very strong faith and wanted to be a priest. However, when I came to the Philippines, I completely lost my faith. I was very confused when I saw many unbelievable situations in the Philippines. Street kids always make me sad, and I see them everyday. The Philippines is the only Catholic country in Asia , but there are too many poor people here. People go to church every Sunday to pray, but nothing has been changed.

My parents came to the Philippines last week and saw this situation. They told me that Korea was much poorer than the present Philippines when they were young. They are so sorry that there are so many beggars and street kids. When we went to Pagsangjan, I forced my parents to take a boat because it would fun. However, they were not happy after taking a boat. They said that they would not take the boat again because they were sympathized the boatmen, for the boatmen were very poor and had a small frame. Most of people just took a boat and enjoyed it. But, my parents did not enjoy it because of love for them.

My mother who has been working for Catholic Church since I was very young told me that if we just go to mass without changing ourselves, we are not Catholic indeed. Faith should come with action. She added that I have to love Filipinos and do good things for them because all of us are same and have received a great love from God. I want Filipinos to love their neighborhood and country as much as they love God so that the Philippines will be well off.

I am sure that love is the keyword, which Filipinos should remember. We cannot change the sinful structure at once. It should start from person. Love must start in everybody, in a s mall scale and have to grow. A lot of things happen if we open up to love. Let's put away our prejudices and look at our worries with our new eyes.

I discover that every person is worthy to be loved. Trust in love, because it makes changes possible. Love changes you and me. It changes people, contexts and relationships. It changes the world. Please love your neighborhood and country.

Jesus Christ said that whatever we do to others we do to Him. In the Philippines, there is God for people who are abused and abandoned. There is God who is crying for love. If you have a child, teach them how to love the Philippines. Teach them why they have to love their neighborhood and country. You already know that God also will be very happy if you love others.

That's all I really want to ask you Filipinos.

(FOR THE LOVE OF OUR COUNTRY PLEASE PASS THIS MESSAGE)